Dear Diary, Carol says I've got a few screws loose. just because I sit and stare at her, chirping once in a while. She shouldn't say things like that to me. A cat's got feelings too. It's really not my fault that she doesn't understand what I'm saying. Sometime she just ignores me. That's when I have to start knocking things over to get her to understand I want something. What, she thinks I'm staring because I like the way she looks? Fat chance. I stare when I need something. Right now I want to go outside. How hard is that to figure out. I've eaten both wet and dry food; I don't want to nap; what else is there. I've got her attention now. signing off to take a walk about the yard. Maybe I'll harass a chicken or two.